This checklist offers some structure for a time that can be quite overwhelming.

Take your time.You’re going through a period of grieving.
Don’t rush to make any decisions.
If you have not been the chief financial decision maker, perhaps a financial advisor is something to consider.

1) Gather important documents.
2) Will and any trusts
3)Insurance policies
4) Death certificates (Get 10-25 copies)
5) Social security numbers
6) Marriage license
7) Birth Certificates for your children
8) Financial statements for IRA’s, bank accounts, investments
and company sponsored retirement plans.
9) Company benefits booklet
10) Military discharge papers

II) Collect insurance benefits.
Call the insurance company and tell them what happened. Most insurance companies cut a check relatively quickly. Please don’t feel compelled to immediately invest this money. Put it into a cash account, CD or money market where it is safe.

If you can’t find the policy, contact the American Council of Life Insurers. (www.acli.com)

III) Contact the deceased’s employer.
Many companies make an attempt to help the family of the deceased, especially if there is back pay, vacation pay or sick pay due.

Also, the human resource department (HR) can help with retirement plans, such as rolling over benefits into a personal IRA. If you do not have a copy of the plan, ask to see it! Inquire also, about health insurance benefits for the family.

IV) Make sure you have sufficient cash reserves on hand. Try to have at least six (6) months covered in a money market or other very liquid account. This helps to ensure you are not rushed into making financial decisions right away.

V) Apply for government death benefits.
As a widow, you may be eligible of Social Security retirement benefits as early as age 60.Surviving families with children under age 18 may be eligible for Social Security benefits. Go to www.sss.gov or call 1 800 772 1213.

Military veterans can be buried for free in one of the national cemeteries. The Veterans Administration will provide a flag for the service, a headstone for the grave and financial assistance for the funeral. For more information, go too www.va.gov.

VI) Start to settle the estate.
The will and/or trust will indicate the executor of the estate. That person will handle the administrative responsibilities of the estate, so you need to contact that person right away. If your loved one had a safety deposit box, you should have that person go with you to take inventory of its contents.

Contact an estate attorney to help you settle the estate. They can guide you in filing an estate tax return and a final income tax return. The estate tax return must be filed within nine (9) months of the date of death.

VII) Handle other miscellaneous details.
Ownership of real estate, vehicles, safe-deposit boxes, IRA’s, brokerage accounts, credit cards, and other assets will need to be retitled. You will need to write a letter to each entity (or fill out a form) to request change of ownership and you will need to include a death certificate.

If you have children in private school or college, you might contact the financial aid office for to see if your children are entitled to any financial assistance due the change in circumstances.

Most important, be sure to update any existing will and/ or trusts, transferring any assets into the new entity.

VIII) CASH- -30 days worth for any “just in case” moments.

You are responsible for you and your family now.

Courage…I know you can do this!

After Chuck died, no matter how together I seemed, I really did not know what to do with myself that first year. In an instant, my life as I once knew it ceased to exist. Looking back if I hadn’t had to get up to run our business, I probably would’ve thrown a pity party for myself and gone into hiding for awhile. Instead, I trudged ahead and tripped myself up in an intricate variety of ways. Please read on and try to do as I suggest, not as I did…

1. Stay in charge of your own life.
No one knows what you need better than you do! Do not let anyone manage your money or your personal affairs.

2. As best as you can, maintain your familiar routine.
You will make changes eventually. It happens. For now you don’t need the extra stress. Stick with what you know.

3. Make plans for weekends and those “special dates.”
Get out your calendar and fill those days with family, friends, or activities that will make these days easier to get through. If you don’t know where to go, or what to do, check out the calendar section of your newspaper, or go online. It’s a wonderful opportunity to catch up with those things you said you’d do like to do someday if you had the time. You now have the time!

4. Fight loneliness. Get out of the house, especially when you don’t want to.
Find something to do! Take a class, join a gym or a house of worship. Help children learn to read (my personal favorite) or reshelve books at the library. Give of yourself to someone else; or just go for a walk. I promise, both will make you feel much better!

5. Be good to yourself.
Treat yourself to tickets to something you’d really like to see.
Get a massage or a facial.
Buy yourself some flowers
Change your haircolor.
Don’t go into debt; but splurge every now and then on something special…

6. Reread the first five suggestions!

You are in charge of being good to yourself now. Nobody else will do it.
With my blessings and encouragement, go for it.