Like eleven times before, tonight I lit a memorial candle commemorating the anniversary of the death of the man whose wedding ring sits in a little velvet bag next to mine in the safety deposit box.

Besides not enough photographs and a son, memories are all that’s left. Are they real memories or just how I choose to remember things? It’s all so vague. All that’s really clear is that twelve years is a long time; and yet, it’s just a moment in time.

I still miss him, I think. Yet, at times don’t even remember what being married feels like.

What I do know, is that there’s a hole in my heart where he used to be; and I’m grateful for whatever time we had  together.

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